Chaos Theory
by ChaosRangersWrite
Summary: In which there is an ancient evil, a new team of Rangers, a couple of unfortunate already-a-Rangers, an animatronic bear in striped overalls gets caught in the crossfire, and Carl needs to pedal faster. REWRITE: old version archived here under the penname Plus2Brilliance.


**Prologue - Solipsism**

:::

Adam Park was not a fool. By _any_ stretch of the imagination.

However, there were times when he didn't really think things through. The day he decided to let Rocky cut his hair in third grade, for instance. Or when Rocky wanted to go skiing and convinced Adam and Aisha they'd be wonderful at it because martial arts, balance, reflexes, it's only a little hill, guys, don't be wusses. Or the time Rocky talked him into 'going stag' with him to the Homecoming dance in junior high.

At some point in his life, the little lightbulb lit up, and Adam realized that pretty much everything chaotic in his life was generally due to Rocky...well..._existing._ Well, no, to be fair, it was mostly due to Adam making poor life choices that ended with him getting sucked into Rocky's riptide of ridiculousness. Aisha must've figured out the Rocky/chaos correlation much sooner than Adam had, because she'd been better at noticing the early warning signs and dodging the resulting fallout than Adam ever had, but she wasn't immune, either. Everyone knew Adam and Aisha to be the sensible ones, but they had their moments, and approximately ninety percent of those moments were Rocky-based.

There were a few key phrases the two of them had worked out that, when coming out of Rocky's mouth, served the same purpose as klaxons - blaringly obvious signals that something Very Bad was either about to happen or, unfortunately, already in progress. They were: 'good idea', 'what could happen', 'you'll never guess', 'ooh, they have a shark tank', 'what does this button do', 'funny story, actually', 'we should totally', and, of course, 'please'.

(The last one might've seemed like good manners, and Rocky did have very good manners (surprising only to people who hadn't met Tita Luisa), but when used in conjunction with 'good idea' or 'they have a shark tank', it tended to end messily, painfully, ridiculously, or with the three of them sentenced to eight consecutive lifetime bans from Chuck E. Cheese's.

Every Chuck E. Cheese's. In every state. And Canada.

Not that they were allowed in Canada anymore, anyway.)

So it was with a heart made heavy by trepidation and a significant amount of kicking himself that Adam took exit 16, windows rolled down determinedly as though he was hoping the wind would just blow all memory of his monumental mistake out his ears. And also because, halfway through the trip from Los Angeles to the coast of southern Virginia, his A/C had started to blow hot air, and he hadn't been about to pull over and poke around in its innards himself.

Turbo Ranger he might've been. Mechanic he was not. And, well...it was kind of the old 'if I can't see it, it doesn't exist' mentality. Checking the A/C meant acknowledging that things were already going wrong, and Adam really, _really_ wanted to make it at least a week before everything fell apart.

Putting aside this instance of selective solipsism with a final, bitter scowl at the traitorous air controls, Adam returned to kicking himself for agreeing to do this in the first place. Sure, Rocky was his friend. And sure, friends helped friends out when needed. But Adam should have known better. The entire conversation had just been one big warning sign, after all.

With a sigh, Adam felt himself slipping into a flashback...

_"Heeey, Adam, my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Funny story-"_

_"No."_

_"Aw, come on! You haven't even heard what I'm gonna ask!"_

_"Rocky, whatever scheme, plot, adventure, festival, reunion, parade, competition, road trip, or marathon for charity you're thinking of, I'm unavailable. Forever."_

_"It's a good thing it's none of those, then," Rocky insisted, undeterred. "It's a job."_

_"I have job."_

_"This is a new job. A _fun_ job."_

_"I'm not helping you start another psychic detective agency."_

_"No, no, nothing like that. One of my instructors went on vacation, and I need someone to fill in. And I said to myself, hey, there's a good idea-"_

_Adam cringed._

_"-why not ask my very best buddy and the most dependable person I know, upon whom I can always rely, to fill in?"_

_"Yes, well, Aisha's not here, sorry. Talk to you later, Rocky."_

_"A-dam," Rocky whined. "Come on, man. It's just for the summer. You'd only have to pick up two classes, easy classes! One of them's tai chi! What could happen?"_

_Pinching the bridge of his nose, Adam suppressed a groan of despair._

_"Please?"_

_Ladies and gentlemen, Armageddon. Please keep your hands and feet inside the apocalypse until existence has come to a full and complete stop._

_"Fine," Adam's mouth said._

Oh, no,_ Adam's brain said._

So now, here he was, picking his way methodically through oceanfront traffic and hoping to God that substituting for a martial arts instructor wouldn't end with Adam being bald, broken, bisexual, or banned from any chain restaurant/arcades.

"Please, God, give me a sign that I haven't made a huge mistake," he pleaded as he eased to a stop at a light.

A garish, acid green Volvo PV blew by with a girl in neon pink camoflage leaning out the back window with a paintball gun, followed (somewhat belatedly) by two security guards on a tandem bicycle.

Adam sighed again, leaning forward to press his forehead against the wheel, ignoring the blaring of horns behind him as the light turned green and the shouts of 'stop, in the name of the - Jesus, Carl, pedal faster, will you' fading into the distance.

"Didn't see that. Didn't see it. Just my imagination. Didn't see it, so it doesn't exist."

When he didn't feel like bursting into tears, he sat back up, took a deep breath, and rolled through the intersection just as the light turned red, leaving a trail of angry drivers behind him.

"Everything's going to be fine."

He almost believed it.

...almost.

:::

**Next time on ****_Chaos Theory_****...CHAPTER ONE:** In which Rocky introduces Adam to a couple of special students, the Volvo makes an entrance, Gabe and Casper are terrifying, Adam almost runs over a gamer, and Niceville is evil.

**Authors' Notes -**

**Painapple:** Okay, well...here it is! The beginning of our re-write of Chaos Theory! Wowzers, it's lookin even more wild and wacky than before! We'll try to have re-vamped chapters up ASAP, and then get to hammering out a few new ones...so please stick around, and be sure to review and let us know how you like this new-and-improved fanfic!

A coupla warnings - there will be het and slash (not much romance at all, tbh, but some), contrived plots, wacky hijinks, OCs by the bushel, and puns. Terrible, terrible puns. This was very much inspired by _Of Love and Bunnies_ by CrazyGirl47, Freyja Silverwillow, and BrynSpikess, though we've definitely striven to make it our own.

We do have faceclaims for the Chaos Rangers, by-the-by, and we'll be sure to list them, tho if you want a link to our roster, complete with pictures, shoot us a message!

**P2m1b:** P2m1b was unavailable for comment, except to say 'what she said' and 'I need to change my penname'. Also, per P2m1b's orders, the rest of the old chapters will be rewritten before we post anything more, so be patient, and re-read the old story over at our defunct account, Plus2Brilliance (link in our new profile).


End file.
